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What kind of building is your life?

January 18, 2012

Life is a building. It rises slowly, day by day, through the years. Every new lesson we learn lays a block on the edifice which is rising silently within us. Every experience, every touch of another life on ours, every influence that impresses us, every book we read, every conversation we have, every act of our commonest days adds to the invisible building

Quote by – J. R. Miller

The quote above brought back a cornucopia memories. I spent my early years being raised in an extremely abusive household, my building’s foundation was seriously flawed and it’s taken a tremendous amount of effort to repair the damage. What to do with all that my foundation had been built on? There wasn’t an easy answer to this; after all it had been built on fear, abuse, lies, and denial.  I spent a lot of this time in a deep depression, but I persisted. One of the first things I did was make a list of the positives I wanted to keep (yes even in abusive situations there are moments of normalcy) and began eliminating those qualities I didn’t want to remain. Sometimes my progress was slow in coming and others I was amazed at how quickly things changed. I’ve spent the last 30 years or so rebuilding my foundation and now I can say that my life is built on the cornerstones of love, truth, and compassion.

To be continued ….

What kind of building is your life?~Strongheart

14 Comments leave one →
  1. Julie Catherine permalink
    January 18, 2012 1:22 pm

    Wow, what an awesome question, and such a unique concept! I love this post. You have definitely worked, not only to rebuild your life, but to redirect your entire focus and foundations to ones that are so much more conducive to a happier and healthier life. Kudos to you, Selena.

    This question is going to take some thought – so I will be back later to describe my ‘building’. Wonderful, thought-provoking post; and I look forward to reading about other people’s ‘buildings’. ~ Julie xox

  2. Julie Catherine permalink
    January 19, 2012 12:12 am

    I’m back, and after much thought on this question, here is my response:

    My life began rather like your first photo, on the foundations of fear, abuse, violence, abandonment – I was a child who was broken. When I was in my late teens, right into my early 30s, my building was like the tent of the nomad; impermanent and wandering. For last 20 years I have been rebuilding my life, through the optimism and tenacity that have been present through all of my years. At this time, I would say that my life building is becoming more like your second photograph, built with these four main qualities:

    Optimism – an enduring faith that when doors close, others open, always
    Gratitude – for what I have, for my gifts; and for the opportunity to grow them
    Tenacity – diligence, stubbornness, persistence in the face of all obstacles
    Love – for others, which I’ve always had; and now, gradually, for myself

    This was a wonderful exercise of introspection and reflection, Selena. You really made me think deeply about what has been, and the journey to where I am presently. I eagerly look forward to the next installment of this post. ~ Julie 🙂 xox

  3. January 19, 2012 10:07 am

    Thank you Julie and what wonderful an insightful answer!This question has opened a treasure trove of things that I’ll be sharing, things that I had forgotten as well as things that remain forever etched in my memory.I welcome this opportunity to share a bit more of my continuing journey~Selena 🙂

  4. January 23, 2012 12:31 am


    Apologies for the off-topic comment, but I couldn’t find a contact email for you.

    I recently put out an ebook of my writing, called ‘The New Death and others’. It’s a collection of short pieces, mostly dark fantasy.

    I was wondering if you’d be interested in doing a review on your blog.

    If so, please email me: Let me know what file format is easiest for you, and I’ll send you a free copy.

    You can download a sample from the ebook’s page on Smashwords:

    I’m also happy to do interviews, guest posts, or giveaways. Just let me know what you’d prefer.


    • January 28, 2012 12:25 am

      Hi James I’d be pleased to take a look.Please forgive my late reply things have been extremely hectic of late

  5. January 29, 2012 7:23 pm

    oh my good friend Julie, this is so wise, tender and touching. I love you only more.

  6. January 30, 2012 6:04 pm

    I have never thought about characterizing my Life as a house, until now. But I would think it is one near the woodlands and lakes like now, with animal, climatic and celestial influences coming and going as they please, whether wanted or unwanted. Sort of a little like being afloat in a landbound Houseboat?

    And thanks for you comment on my poem… it is appreciated.

    • February 1, 2012 9:06 am

      I love the sounds of your “house” it sounds inviting. You are so welcome on the poetry comment,I’m looking forward to reading more.~ Selena

  7. March 4, 2012 4:11 pm

    I hope you’re okay Stronghearted. I’ve been concerned about you since a previous post where you talked about your finances.
    Building a good life is never simple. When life goes well the positive emotions swell into a symphony of well being and continuance, but the other times come, as they always seem to come, and then the darkness roils and we find ourselves caught in whirlpools out of our control. If you have to build your house on a foundation started in the wrong way, finally compelling the whirlpools to become a river that flows serenely forward is difficult.
    But the point is that if you can achieve this act of legerdemain, then you are stronghearted and can weather about any storm, flowing like a beautiful river to the sea.

    • March 4, 2012 7:46 pm

      Thank you Thomas.I’m fine, my finances are always a bit of a problem for me but in general I am extremely grateful. I have a roof over my head, a far cry from those years in my youth I spent roaming the streets ,surviving any way I could. I must admit .I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately,something that rarely happens anymore. I’ve got a lot of outside stress going on at this point .One of which is watching my best friend of 35 years slowly succumb to the ravages of a terminal illness. Thomas I am a survivor in every sense of the word and the secret to that success is quite simple. I choose to view all obstacles as avenues for progress and opportunities to learn.

      • March 12, 2012 10:42 pm

        I’ve got to admit that I have something of the same attitude. My father used to say when someone asked him how he was, “Well, I’m finer than frogs hair sitting on a split wood fence blowing in the wind.” Then he’d look at the person who asked and say, “And how are you?” and then smile that mischievous smile of his. He didn’t care how he was feeling that day, or, toward the end of his life when he was dying from colon cancer, how he was feeling. He was really giving his attitude and mantra about life. Survivors are important. Another friend, an Anishinabe who was one of the wisest people I have ever known, used to say before he died some years back, Tom, mark my words. All of these people now who lord it over all of us will one day turn to the old men who go out in the woods of a full moon night with their poverty in the early spring just as the snow starts to melt and try to sing balance back into the world. It’s the traditional people with nothing that are survivors. They are the ones at the heart of the world.” If you are a survivor you have learned much and have the opportunity to sing balance back into the world. If you are one of those whose hands are filled with the glory of your everydays, then it is difficult for you to understand the unbalance in the world.

  8. March 13, 2012 12:11 am

    Thomas, I treasure your comments as the golden nuggets they are.These are the things that I come back to read time and again. I am a survivor who chooses to live my life in the fullest that I am able . I have little in the way of “Things” much in the ways of my spirit.I truly believe attitude is key to how we perceive the trials and tribulations. that make up life.

  9. Caddo Veil permalink
    March 15, 2012 5:17 pm

    I like this post more than I can put into lovely words–and I’m so moved by the other writers’ comments. Like you, and others, I had a foundation of dark shadows (abuse and woeful neglect). For decades I thought that was all there was–didn’t know I could build a new house with God’s loving help. He is truly a “creative” God, has stirred the creative within me–my house today isn’t perfect, but it is filled with so much laughter and joy.

    Thank you for following my blog–it is wonderful to be part of such a brilliant, sensitive and generously loving community. God bless you abundantly.

    • March 15, 2012 10:36 pm

      Thank you Caddo for your beautiful comment.It’s a pleasure to follow your blog. I look forward to sharing and getting to know you. May you be blessed by an abundant overflow.

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